Monday, May 30, 2011

We're bringing back the Wuss Ride...

For those of you fit enough, brave enough, and blue-ball enough to put on the "Gauntlet of Wuss" in November 2011, you shall be tested agian.
The announcements have been made (by organizers, Biltwell Inc.) and there IS going to be a SLAB CITY RiOT 3 on November 4th and 5th, 2011... so how are you going to get there? "I don't know, I might get lost... again. I really dont want to ride out there alone... all my friends ride faster than me... I have trouble with maps..." Why not take the WUSS RiDE along a pleasant northernly course, riding through forests populated by fairies and elves. Tolls for Trolls bitches! It'll be like a trip through Dungeons and Dragons meets Mr. Toad's Wild Ride. More info (and as always super bad ass free give-a-ways are to be had again!) as we have it over on the Wuss Ride Blog in the coming months.

Blue Collar Moto does San Pedro

BLUE COLLAR MOTO has organized the annual eat and ride to the Fathers Day party at Century Motorcycles in San Pedro. For those of you who've never taken PCH around Palos Verdes, this is a short ride you'd enjoy. From the Original Pancake House (and I'd get there early enough to eat too!) south around Torrance Beach, PV, and through San Pedro into the scary crime filled flats. There's plenty of San Pedro to explore if your into (free) old military bunkers/forts at Point Fermin and Frendship Park where the Korean "Friendship" Bell is, historic "biker" bar(s) and hop a fence (yes, trespassing) into Sunken City where the city literally fell out from under the houses on the streets. Make a day out of it.

This year were meeting at The Origional Pancake House 1756 South Pacific Coast Highway Redondo Beach, CA 90277-5902 - (310) 543-9875, and then taking a ride around Palos Verdes coast to Century Motorcycles Fathers Day Party in San Pedro. 

1640 South Pacific Avenue
San Pedro, CA 90731-4796
(310) 832-6190

Father's Day in 2011 is on Sunday, June 19.

This IS a all bike friendly event!
If ya have a van or cool car and no bike, don't let that stop you! Follow along!

We are leaving the Pancake house by 8:30, so if ya want to eat, give yourself time! They have some really good food! I'll be showing up around 7:15 A.M.

Sunken City off Point Femin, a definite photo opportunity, you just can't take the bike(s) there! Park them up at Walkers, have a beer and hop the fence. You can't miss it. you can pound the broken slabs of cement and shake your fist at the air, screaming, "Why!? Damn them why did they launch the Bombs!?!"

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Kiki's in San Felipe and How Stupid is 'Merican Peoples?

Some random shots from Kiki's in San Felipe on the El Diablo Run 2011. And yeah, we can get pretty stupid without a lot of effort. There's a fine line somewhere when going to far, really isn't going far enough and pushing the limits is sometimes better done by pulling, but I digress in my aptitude for explaining things in order. To the guy or guys who lit fireworks all night long, I salute you. Maybe not the best idea to shot them directly at the resort office and night watch employee monitoring our festivities, but all in all no one got burns over areas larger than 2% of their body and that's always a good thing.

And as I look back on the EDR, todays headlines in the news make is crystal clear why getting out of the country for a week can never be a bad thing. Hell, who would be able to function correctly if they didn't know that Amy Winehouse was going back INTO rehab; "The British soul singer checked into the Priory Clinic in the UK Wednesday, reportedly at her dad's insistence. Good job Daddy. She was seen downing a mini bottle of vodka on the way to the facility "in typical Amy style,"You go Girlfriend!  a friend told the celebrity magazine." or some other life altering horrific celebrity news. I'm sure the country will do fine missing Ophra (if I never see her gullet on t.v. again I might be okay), Obama, Osama, or any other "O" or any other (insert alphabetic letter here X) in our lives... why watch a Hangover on the big screen when you can live one? Does America really Got Talent? Do they? And should kids all over the country really be emotionally drained after hearing Lady Gaga speak on a documentary, that there's still hope for humanity? Because without her, there wouldn't be! O-M-G! I gotta text everyone I know right NOW! There was a time ages past when I read some graffiti, that said something attune to "Kill Your Television" and I didn't get it, but I do now... if only Son's of Anarchy wasn't so damn important to the motorcycle world.


Friday, May 27, 2011


 So someone (Johnny No) turns me onto the latest "hot" biker video and sure enough, I've got something to say about it. First, Would Jesus really ride a Factory Springer Soft-tail? I think not. What would Jesus ride? Well get to that in a bit. Judas however is the only one in the Little Bethlehem M/C who IS riding a Sportster, and it oddly enough looks like a Sportster I saw back in 2009(?) at the David Mann Chopperfest (see pic above) only the tank is painted white or grey now. So, the Lil' Beth M/C is all running California plates, and I would expect that to be nothing more than proof positive that Los Angeles is the New Jerusalem of the last book of the new testament (for those of you that don't know, or haven't read it, that would be the book of Revelations penned by John (and you might note, that Johns on a rigid w/ California Black plates. All the rest are modern whites)). Now Philip appears to be on a rigid too, but I can't see his plates. Hold on though, if we're in California, would Jesus let his posse ride (at least some of them) without a helmet? Nope. Two of the bikers are on Baggers and that just doesn't make any sense to me, so it throws my whole theory into the abyss. And another thing, why is Jesus wearing a blue bandana over his face? Is he a Crip? I sure would have guessed he was a Blood (for obvious reasons)(Is anybody reading this?).

 I don't know, I don't see Judas being attracted to this little boy at all. 
 One things for sure. That Unicorns all over the world are throwing up a little into their mouths. Throwing up Rainbow Chunks. Vodka flavored Rainbow Chunks. I'd take a file to my horn right about now if I was said Unicorn. And when I say horn, I mean "Penis." So what would Jesus ride? That's a pretty good question... a lot of people think it would be a Harley Davidson, but I don't. Not likely. After all Jesus is the King of Kings, so why ride Factory? I'm not going to tell you I know for sure, but I'd reason it would be something close to a BSA single. He's modest like that. He's not concerned with getting there the fastest, with the loudest speakers or mufflers. He's not into the bling or the period correct chopper fad, or even the OCC / West Coast fad. He's the son of a Carpenter, so he probably knows how to tool his own leather and has a custom seat, but a practical one. I'll bet he rolls knobbies cause he does the whole "into the wilderness" riding.
Yeah, who isn't? Oh that's right, when you make outties into innies. Ouch! No thanks.
 Here's a picture without the hollywood camera "soft" lens. I guess being "born this way" is harder than it looks. Not to mention that "Born This Way" is a total rip off of Madonnas "Express Yourself." Madonna is probably rolling over in her grave. She's dead right? Well, her career is but Pop music goes on forever, like radiation.
 "Don't say I didn't warn you..."
Should have stuck with Wild Hogs if I wanted some authentic biker action. At least they know how to crash a party! The "Electric Chapel" is nothing more than Industry Night on Highland Blvd. with a bunch of hipsters who like to rip each others t-shirts off.
To quote a famous Pilot I once knew, "I wash my hands of this."

Unicorns can't be blamed now for wanting to stay hidden from the world. I'd hide too... under the nearest rock I could find.

Random Long Beach Swap pics

Thursday, May 26, 2011

The Myth that comes with the Tide

I didn't buy CD's until sometime after 2002. I didn't even own a CD player. Don't even ask about DVD's. Then I started going through the used stuff at Amoeba (whatever, it was on the way home for a couple years of toiling, then it wasn't and I never missed it again) and sometimes I'd find something total bad ass that was $1.00, like ANTI's entire collection on one CD (they were an early punk band from Redondo Beach, way before your time). Well, before I knew it, I had a box full of CD's that someone decided sucked ass and sold, then no one evidently wanted them used either, and they were marked as low as possible I guess, and along I came. Man, I got some good stuff for a buck a pop. Saccharine Trust, Mood of Defiance, TSOL, Minutemen, Detonators, Christian Death, Vandals, Dag Nasty (when they were living outta Doug's moms house in Manhattan Beach) mostly all that old South Bay / Southern California stuff that was made before shit like Hot Topic and Blink 182. It makes me wonder about motorcycles too. History played out differently. Remember when everyone in the know said, and you'll remember this well, "All those Big Bear Choppers and OCC bikes will be for sale super cheap in ten years..." But, that never panned out. I still see ridiculous prices on these hulking RevTec powered bolt waggons. (Hell, I don't even know what to really call them? The owners like to call them choppers, but they're more like "everymans-a-celebrity chopper(s)" if anything and by that I mean expensive abortions build for a passing fad. Even if that fad is still on re-runs, 40 times a day on the Discovery Channel, which is an oxymoron to boot, because the only thing I discovered while watching some of those shows was how retarded those guys really really are, even at the little things like making coffee at their home!)
The Angry Samoans kick ass! Rodney, not so much...
Not looking too happy.
What about todays Fourty-Eight with a gas tank the size of my schlongs bladder? What about Honda's new "chopper" the FURY? Yamaha likes to call their "Raider" bikes "modern classics" but they're still just water cooled metric cruisers, that still cost too much. Who do you think they're going after with a name like "Raider" or "Fury" or "Dark Custom"? I guess I just haven't watched enough Lord of the Rings movies (evidently that where all the CEO's are getting their bikes names from?) Next years may very well be the "Unicornica" or "Elfster" or maybe even "Analator" (I meant to say Annihilator) Everyone dreams of a stripped down, inexpensive, standard air-cooled bike as a starting platform for a home build bike, but there's no such thing. It's a myth in todays "new" bike arena. Go into a dealership and ask to see their selection of "standard" bikes. I bet you get either a.) a raised eyebrow of confusion or b.) a huff of disgust. "Come on you cheap bastard, buy a plastic-chromed 1800cc VTX and bring it to the dealer for every service imaginable because you'll never be able to figure anything on this bike out on your own." (That's from experience, spin the bottle truth, I have a kinda-newer Shadow and the carburetor has no less than 50 hoses attached to it. I started pulling them off one by one until the bike stopped running. It was like a game of Jenga!) I thought of chopping it to hell, but decided it would look like a naked-turd instead of just a turd at the end of the day. I'm still looking for a 90's KZ1000 Police bike too.
(Yes. It's a real HD youtube video ... I shit you not.) Google "Gymnist & Dark Custom" you'll find it.
July 21, 2010 - Harley-Davidson reported in a public financial statement that they shipped 112,720 motorcycles in the first 6 months of 2010 Wait. Is shipped, "SOLD" I don't know..., a 15.2 percent decrease compared to last year’s 132,849 units for the period. That's still "shipping" over 626 dreams a day!
"I don't know. Try anything... we need the sales NOW!"

"Skaters can't afford this shit, find SOMEONE who can!"

But those figures are form 2010, here's some new figures I grabbed off the web. I can only assume they're real since, who would go to the trouble to make up a bunch of dummie numbers (except maybe me?). Top 10 Motorcycle and Scooter SALES for Q1 2011:
  1. Honda 3913 (still down 9% from 2009 same Q sales)
  2. Yamaha 2518
  3. Triumph 1913 (up 25% from 2009, they must be doing something right?)
  4. BMW 1532
  5. Suzuki 1456
  6. Kawasaki 1384
  7. Piaggio 994
  8. Harley-Davidson 974 Sucks to be in 8th place. Less than eleven bikes sold a day?
  9. KTM 549
  10. Ducati 517
I think this snip from a review of a 2008-2009 Sportster pretty much sums it up in a nut:
"Suspension of 2008 and 2009 bikes needs upgrade. Some have experienced issues with minor oil leaks and/or piston rings not sealing for quite a while. Has a number of minor quirks, although all issues are easily worked out by a proficient owner or under warranty."
Now, who in the world ever heard of a Harley having oil leaks... tisk tisk tisk, that's unheard of.
So you have to be a "proficient" owner? or take it where? ... oh, to the Dealer.
So what "exactly" is my point. BUY USED.

Gasser Lounge ~ This Saturday, May 28th

 Shy Kit.
"Oh! Oh! Oh!, I Gotta Go!"

the Villa Marina After Dark

 You never run out of fireworks in Mexico!

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Slingin' da' Bling

 So I thought it might be kinda cool to run a eagle talon and claw kickstand as a joke since, obviously I'm serious, they're so damn cool. You know what I'm talking about right? Don't deny it. But holy mother of sweet baby Jesus, theres some people selling these for Captain Insane'o prices. Between $289 and $450.00 for a kick stand. A KICK STAND?! What? Are you kidding me? Nope. I don't live in that world, thanks anyway.
I think going forward, I'll just photoshop this kickstand onto my bike and ya'll see I'm balling. I'll even paint that sucka Gold so you know I sling da' bling. Man, I can almost buy half a used Sportster for the price of a polished turd.