Friday, May 27, 2011


 So someone (Johnny No) turns me onto the latest "hot" biker video and sure enough, I've got something to say about it. First, Would Jesus really ride a Factory Springer Soft-tail? I think not. What would Jesus ride? Well get to that in a bit. Judas however is the only one in the Little Bethlehem M/C who IS riding a Sportster, and it oddly enough looks like a Sportster I saw back in 2009(?) at the David Mann Chopperfest (see pic above) only the tank is painted white or grey now. So, the Lil' Beth M/C is all running California plates, and I would expect that to be nothing more than proof positive that Los Angeles is the New Jerusalem of the last book of the new testament (for those of you that don't know, or haven't read it, that would be the book of Revelations penned by John (and you might note, that Johns on a rigid w/ California Black plates. All the rest are modern whites)). Now Philip appears to be on a rigid too, but I can't see his plates. Hold on though, if we're in California, would Jesus let his posse ride (at least some of them) without a helmet? Nope. Two of the bikers are on Baggers and that just doesn't make any sense to me, so it throws my whole theory into the abyss. And another thing, why is Jesus wearing a blue bandana over his face? Is he a Crip? I sure would have guessed he was a Blood (for obvious reasons)(Is anybody reading this?).

 I don't know, I don't see Judas being attracted to this little boy at all. 
 One things for sure. That Unicorns all over the world are throwing up a little into their mouths. Throwing up Rainbow Chunks. Vodka flavored Rainbow Chunks. I'd take a file to my horn right about now if I was said Unicorn. And when I say horn, I mean "Penis." So what would Jesus ride? That's a pretty good question... a lot of people think it would be a Harley Davidson, but I don't. Not likely. After all Jesus is the King of Kings, so why ride Factory? I'm not going to tell you I know for sure, but I'd reason it would be something close to a BSA single. He's modest like that. He's not concerned with getting there the fastest, with the loudest speakers or mufflers. He's not into the bling or the period correct chopper fad, or even the OCC / West Coast fad. He's the son of a Carpenter, so he probably knows how to tool his own leather and has a custom seat, but a practical one. I'll bet he rolls knobbies cause he does the whole "into the wilderness" riding.
Yeah, who isn't? Oh that's right, when you make outties into innies. Ouch! No thanks.
 Here's a picture without the hollywood camera "soft" lens. I guess being "born this way" is harder than it looks. Not to mention that "Born This Way" is a total rip off of Madonnas "Express Yourself." Madonna is probably rolling over in her grave. She's dead right? Well, her career is but Pop music goes on forever, like radiation.
 "Don't say I didn't warn you..."
Should have stuck with Wild Hogs if I wanted some authentic biker action. At least they know how to crash a party! The "Electric Chapel" is nothing more than Industry Night on Highland Blvd. with a bunch of hipsters who like to rip each others t-shirts off.
To quote a famous Pilot I once knew, "I wash my hands of this."

Unicorns can't be blamed now for wanting to stay hidden from the world. I'd hide too... under the nearest rock I could find.

1 comment:

buscemi said...

dinosauria, we. everything is a fucking ripoff.