Sunday, June 5, 2011

I Love the Fake Harley lifestyle


My favorite quote by Socialpimp1974 under this video: 
"I love the fake Harley lifestyle."
and that's exactly what it is. So deal with it.
Let's take a note. Bikers go bowling, play darts, play pool, ride through downtown Los Angeles (or as is commonly known, skid row. Where the homeless dwell. They tried to make it hip, but, No.) I think part of this commercial is even filmed at the Cretins L.A. pad, but I don't know for sure, btw I think the Cretins have like one rider on a Sportster... I think I read that on their website. I'll ask them on the 12th when they have their swap meet. You should go. Anyway, not a single beer in this commercial (nor a stripper)? Someone is drinking a "black glass" of something? Could be Sarsaparilla? Might be a tall frothy glass of shit? Again, I don't know. What I do know is,

BUY USED.

For those of you puckering starfish gearing up to plump down a check on the newest motorcycle on the market, I bring you the BUY USED campaign to, hopefully, encourage you to explore other options besides what you can add to your total financed plan in the form of overpriced leather jackets, orange and black helmets, company logo wife beaters, coffee mugs, and lead free jewelry. "That silver skull ring ($325.00) would look great with that officially licensed leather jacket ($595.00)!" I wont be targeting only Harley Davidson's new 2011 line of black bikes "It's not black enough if theirs chrome on it." But where there's the gas, I'll light fires. And when there's a new ad campaign geared to "selling the dream" I'll be sure to point out that you wipe the droll off your chin when you WAKE THE F*CK UP! 
The Campaign has already begun. Do you want to wake up? Do you want to open your eyes?
SPOILER ALERT: "You take the blue pill and the story ends. You wake up on your Dark Custom and you believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill - you stay in wonderland and I show you how to change your own oil, adjust your valves, and tighten loose bolts on your very own, without any help. Remember! All I am offering is the truth. Nothing more."

If we choose the blue pill everything is always progressing toward a better, easier future. Harley Davidson re-sale values always rise, and endless entertainments keep us happily merrily occupied. You're living the biker lifestyle forevermore. Sons of Anarchy is the nations top rated reality t.v. show and you spend your weekends sitting at the Dealership swapping spit with strippers and movie stars. Cigars for everybody and every beer comes with a slice of orange and a dash of fairy dust. Meth doesn't cause your teeth to fall out and you never need Viagra again cause you're so Hardcore!

2 comments:

Brady said...

The tone says 'insane' but the words speak the truth.

If you haven't read it, you should check out "Shop Class as Soulcraft." At one point the author discusses how HD bolt-and-go mods are an attempt to provide creativity to the consumer - only you can't bolt-and-go creativity. Choosing mods from a catalogue isn't the same as dreaming.

Just sayin'

Nice. It would shatter my lumbar vertebrae in about 3 minutes, but it looks cool as hell

Brady
Behind Bars - Motorcycles and Life
http://www.behindbarsmotorcycle.com/

Brady said...

Also, I'm not sure where the spine shattering thing came from. My bad.

Brady
Behind Bars - Motorcycles and Life
http://www.behindbarsmotorcycle.com/