Wednesday, June 22, 2011

WUSS 2011

Remember the 80's? Everything was day glow. The color white was still a fashion option. You were a strapping middle school playboy who believed everything you saw in the Decline of the Western Civilization. You snuck into the then abandoned Black Flag church, but everyone was already gone. The future had passed through Hermosa Beach fifteen minutes ago. Darby had long since already O.D.'d. And as you attended high school D. Boon died on a freeway somewhere in the desert on his way back from a vacation. True punk rock was being extinguished from the face of the planet. Corporate Punk Rock was forming in the vacuums created by butterflies flapping their wings in Japan. Explosive atomic radiation fueled butterflies with wings enough to hypnotize generations. The 80's are dead.
 Somehow you didn't get caught up in the hype, the hair bands or speed metal. The availability of cheap drugs may have dried up, but then again, that was never your staple substance and the only score you were interested in came not in the form of a folded piece of paper. Man, you were a loner. A Rebel. You had a girlfriend who wore bondage pants, but she was so into Madonna you never got to listen to your own albums. She ended up leaving you for that Depeche Mode homo with a VW horse-plant Porsche anyway. You WUSS, you had a Kawasaki that barely ran... "When are you going to get a decent car?" (... "Never!" But, you'd only wisper it under your breath ...)
pic donated by Cindy/FSK
Flashback McFly style. The best time in your life was on your bike. You remember your bike right? You're bike remembers You. It was time again to mount your steed then, and it's time again now. Mental illness is my take-out menu, but true genius is served only seasonal. Get back on the horse. The horse of Destiny. Your Wuss Destiny. The Wuss Army wants YOU!
 It ain't Hard, Being Easy!
 TEAM WUSS will be handing out hot pink teasers on Saturday, you  know where, you know when. If you're a Wuss Ride Veteran, a new Recruit, or just have a curious interest in embracing the Wuss. Fate should bring reward. Break open the Fortune Cookie and read it! Let go and let destiny. This is the only warning you shall receive.
Pic donated by OG/Lucifer
The change will/may/could forever alter your perception of what you should Be. If it's a beard that makes a biker, then a full body beard suit would make you a biker~infinity! If it's a set of leather chaps, a pair of sausage nipples on a perky hot foreign centerfold model, a patch from every rally, a tassel on every bar, a running light on every angle, a bolt for every part, a hot dog (yum), a coffin painted flaked out tank, a payment for every plan, hot sauce, Kate Moss, a squirt, a jolt, a fart, a flush, a gizz, a burp, a cough, a yawn, a giggle, a dime bag, Hunter S. Thompson, a match stick sulfur burn, a cold beer, a hot cup of joe, Tom Robbins, a Woodpecker, a Camel straight, panty stains, dirty sheets, cheap wine, cheaper tacos, a grain of rice with your biker moniker engraved on it by a underprivileged 9 year old forced by economic desperation into street peddling his craft, endless possibilities, endless fluctuations within the time space spectrum, then the word eternity stutters through has a profound definition in your life and the WUSS ride is for you. Join the Wuss Army.

1 comment:

Johnny No said...

Simply put ..... I have never read anything better !!!!! But I hear the calling and I must join forces with the Wuss Army once again !!!!!