Saturday, July 16, 2011

Beerbreed Wednesday Night Ride, July 13th

So by now, everyone has heard of the asian lady who drugged the husbands meal last week, waited till he fell asleep, tied him to the bed, and when he woke up, cut off his penis and (while he was still tied to the bed) put it into the garbage disposal turning it on, effectively shredding it to pieces, right?
If you haven't heard this yet... READ THIS.
 Well, did you know Beerbreed has a rider that was actually in the car behind Lorena Bobbitt back in 1993 when she was driving on the expressway and threw the penis out the window? It actually hit the windshield of the car they were driving and the 12 year old daughter asked what that was? Due to possibly being startled by the fact that a penis had just hit the windshield, the man replied, "Nothing honey, it was just a bug." To which the daughter replied, "Well, did you see the size of the DICK on that bug? It was huge!"
Then later you know the surgeons couldn't graft the penis back on so on the suggestion by a nurse, they attached a baby elephants trunk in it's place. Cause Doctors always listen to Hot Nurses. Well, one day the man was having lunch with an attractive lady he had met at an online dating service, and unbeknown to him he had left his fly open after visiting the mens room. Well, before you knew it that elephant trunk had reached up onto the table and grabbed (more like snatched!) a biscuit out of the bread basket sitting on the table. Quickly the trunk and biscuit disappeared back underneath the table and into the mans pants. The lady, startled, said, "Oh my god! did you see that?" The man replied, "Yes, I know. So sorry about that." To which the woman said, "Oh no, it was fantastic! Can you do it again?"
"I believe so, but I don't think my asshole can stand having another biscuit shoved up it."
"Car keys you say...?"

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