Lady Gaga, Bernie, a Shark and a Sea Turtle walk into a bar...
Gaga was asked about the death of fellow singer Amy Winehouse, who died in London on July 23. “I’m just so devastated. And so sad,” said Gaga. “I really couldn’t speak for 48 hours straight. I was in such shock.” like, seriously... “I just think the most unfortunate thing is the way the media spins things, like ‘Oh we can learn from Amy’s death.’ I don’t feel that Amy needed to learn any lessons. Except how not to do drugs every second of every day I felt that the lesson was for the world to be kinder to the superstar. Even Hitler needed kisses. Everyone was so hard on her. Like her Dad, and family, and Manager. They really only wanted the best for her and it showed.” Barbara Walters, Whoopi Goldberg, Joy Behar, and Elisabeth Hasselbeck asked Gaga about dealing with such immense fame. Big Strap On Time here folks. “It’s a very lonely life,” said Lady Gaga. “But I think that’s part of what we love about her. You can’t have it both ways. You can’t enjoy listening to someone sing sad songs about the Blues and heartbreak, and then not expect them to be truly heartbroken.” But if a rapper raps about shooting cops, he's not really intending to do it? So which is it? Gaga, who wore a black and white outfit with matching purse, glasses and even a piano, also talked about how she deals with fame, and New York's legalization of same-sex marriage. She also performed her single "You and I." Talk about FAKE.
On a completely different note, I wrote you a movie treatment utilizing characters you already know and love... After their adventure at Bernie's weekend house (events of "Weekend At Bernie's") accountants/chopcultist oafish Larry and up-tight Richard return to Los Angeles only to be blamed by the authorities for stealing a two million dollar master builder motorcycle that Bernie had ordered and accepted but failed to pay for upon delivery to his California Lomax Moto-park complex. Larry and Richard investigate and discover that the motorcycle is now somewhere at the Sturgis 2011 motorcycle rally! Meanwhile master builder Pauly Sr., who arranged for the motorcycle to be assembled from stock parts around the shop, wants his monetary investment back any way he can get it, even if that means shooting roids again, that or Viagra? His son, the mischievous design stealing Pauly Jr., would like nothing more than to steal the bike out from under his dad, hires a Voodoo Queen, affectionately named the "Black Magic Woman" to help them revive the now long deceased body of Bernie and the secret location of the "Lomax Lowrider". She tells Larry and Richard to steal Bernie's body and raise it from the dead to lead them to the motorcycle. Unfortunately Pauly Jr, goofed and Bernie can only move when he hears polka music. This creates comic antics and endless confusion whenever the riding trio (plus dead guy) stop for gas, grass, or ass! Richard, Larry and Bernie, along with comical genius Pauly jr., all go to Sturgis to find the motorcycle before it's raffled away in the hottest wet t-shirt contest this side of Daytona Beach! Any reason for more naked girls in a movie is a sure fire hit! In the end both father and son find the happy middle ground and begin to rebuild their relationship with one another, in ways you NEVER expected. Larry and Richard wind up hooking up with a couple of ladies of the night they find lingering at the Buffalo Chip (who later turn out to be trannys) and Bernie finds eternal peace resting on the centerpiece of the Full Throttle Saloon, his very own "Lowmax Lowrider!" Coming to a theater near you soon.
And why stop there, let's get far out... real far... farther... ok, too far, come back some. Anyone here ever play with astral projection? I know of (maybe) three different ways to achieve it with limited success some might say. One however is always the preferred method and the most successful I have experienced. Yesterday I was practicing and decided it was time to take some notes. Note One: solid and liquid are not applicable on (the/a) astral plane. The majority of the time (which is figurative in itself) I have spent there has been in a perceived liquid state. Note Two: Color remains even when through modern television/movie illustrations of such, one may be led to believe that color is altered. Do you dream in color? Yes. Vividly. My latest exploration led me to an under-liquid (I hesitate to say under-water) observation of a shark eating a sea turtle. The mere fact that I was there to observe this points out some interesting possibilities. One, that others (the shark and the sea turtle) were present, and I highly doubt that they were traveling in an astral plane, so where was I you might ask? Two, that they both recognized me (or at least recognized that something was there watching them and that something was in human form), Why? because the shark turned (morphed) into a grey skinned aboriginal man with a black beard and black curly hair, looked directly at me but did not speak. The sea turtle first turned from a turtle to a hippopotamus like creature before turning into a small dark skinned male. Three, that my own actions are completely controllable (unlike in a nightmare) and you remain fully conscious during the travel. The actions of others are possibly controlled by others in the same realm, although, at this time I have no was to confirm this. The shark had bitten off one of the turtles fins right before the transformation and the dark skinned male (previously a turtle) now had one arm amputated and the grey skinned man with the beard was eating it cannibal style. I'm sorry to say my camera did not work during this observation, as I have not gained the knowledge necessary to take it with me into the astral plane. I tried however. The wounded arm self sealed without delay and I did make eye contact with the amputee before being returned to my body unexpectedly. Have I ever communicated during these projections? Yes. With others whom I consider to also be human travelers. Were the shark and the turtle humans? I don't believe so at this time. I believe that their appearances changed with the presence of my own before them, although I don't know why yet.