Sunday, October 23, 2011

He's Back, Just In Time For The Holidays...

 
He took a year off blogging to practice "the kung fu" overseas with the rotting corpse of Kwai Chang Caine, but decided to quit when "Grasshopper" thought it was time for flute lessons... He spent some time singing and slapping Spam in karaoke bars on Guam, traveled the "Red Rims" in Russian brothels, somehow made his way across the middle east, through the Mediterranean (bedding and impregnating not one, but 17!!! of Moammar Gadhafi's "Virgin" guards) (the CIA has speculated, and correctly I might ad, that this is one of the major turning points in the fall of the dictator... he just couldn't stop crying.). His beard was recognized as "Stronger than the Hoover Dam" in the Guinness Book of World Records right underneath most "mustache rides" in a single night. His tongue protested when the 24 hour mark came and the judges attempted to halt the competition. He now holds the worlds record for the following periods of time; most "mustache rides" in 24 hours, 48 hours, 1 week, 1 month, and 2 months 16 days... He could have gone on longer, but the Las Vegas strip where the event was held was unable to handle the extreme flood conditions on city streets. Bud Light had to cease their "Real Men of Geinus" marketing as "Men" is plural and "Chris" is singular. James Jameson thanks Chris for pulling him from certain death in the turbulent Atlantic and saving his precious whiskey barrel. George Lucas edited Star Wars once again, and this time removed Harrison Ford altogether, replacing him with "Han Moto" who not only shot Greedo first, but emptied the entire blaster into him, and stole his drink before abondoning Luke on the Death Star and wisking off with the "Princess" to a romantic Endor Moon BBQ Ewok dinner for two, or was it a Minau Ja' Wookie?. So make sure you visit his blog again...

The NEW Blue Collar Moto

2 comments:

LUCIFER said...

LMFAO!!!!!!!! That's Bad Ass!!! I heard he also hosted an L.A.P.D. Dinner and promised them pork, and went through it, and once everyone was done eating he yelled, "HOW'S THAT FOR EATING YOUR SELF YOU FUCKIN' PIGS!!!!!!" Rumor has it that he actually fed them human flesh. But I don't know, that's just what I heard.

Chris/Blue Collar Moto said...

Haaaaaaaahahahahaha!