Saturday, December 10, 2011

VERSUS of the Ink ~ Lady Gaga v. Dead Amy Winehouse

Madonna Clone v. Another Dead 27 year old Wino English Addict
Lady Gaga v. Amy Winehouse
Bikers and tattoos go together like peanut butter and jelly. The two cultures are intertwined in a never ending love affair. Tattoos became utilized by biker gangs to signify their allegiance to specific gangs and to convey an image of rebellion that would set them apart from the rest of society. Unfortunately, today that's all changed. Nothing is original, not even this diatribe on the matter, nor any tattoo you might get. Even staying "tattoo free" is a fad and by definition already done (read: not hip for the hipsters keeping track on this blog. Please die.). And even though, Lady Gaga sat in a studio on the back of a motorcycle for her "Judas" video, neither her nor Dead Amy can be considered "motorcycle enthusiasts." Chalk one up for the Lucky Star, cause you might be mine.

 Come on girls, do you believe in love? Just put your paws up.
 So hold your head up girl and you'll go far.
Listen to me when I say...
 Try to carry on but he just wont get it.
He'll be back on his knees.
 What you need is a big strong hand to lift you to higher ground.
... Make him love you till you can't come down.
 Don't be a drag. Just be a queen.
Some boys kiss me, some boys hug me. I think they're just O.K.

~ Versus ~

 Move it over Dad, cause I'm a double dipper.
Upside down on the zip-zip-zipper.
... Licorice whip going to whip yo' ass!
 I shake my little tush on the catwalk.
 I'm too sexy for your party.
No way I'm disco dancing.
 Too sexy for Milan, New York and Japan. 
So sexy it hurts.
I'm too sezzy!!!!
"Toss off bugger! Can't you see Amy busy here with shit an ya'll?" (talking in the third person)

So who wins?...  

"My tattoos arn't even important enough to consider, but my DUI and history of living on the edge make me the perfect contestant for the 2012 Ghoul Pool on the Lady Hump. I win, I win, I win!!!"

2012 Ghoul Pool Finalists are:
1.) Lindsay Lohan (I know, no challenge there right?)
2.) Peter Fonda (payback for Easyrider's been a long time coming!)
3.) Vince Neil (you got ol'd man!)
and the long shot (4.) Kitty Von D.
(... not counting her career.)

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