Monday, February 28, 2011

DO's of the Long Beach Cycle Swap

 The Flaming Ozzy Eagle Head! Yeah! DO
 Maybe a DO in theory.
 Another DO
 If you're going to bring one single thing to the Long Beach Cycle Swap to sell, make it a Ironhead Motor. Ok, a strong DO.
"Choppers 4 Life!" A Double-DO!

Pics from the Long Belch Cycle Swap Feb 2011

 The Undertaker, Dog, and Sr. ~ They Ride Again! That's a total DO in my book, can someone hook me up with a "Mr. T, Pauly Shore, and Ru Paul" three pack?
 Seriously, what would you use it for?
 Witches everywhere are walking in L.A.
"Honey, we're out of toilet paper. Can you throw me a roll?"
Perhaps maybe, you were expecting something else???

So was I, so was I.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

Alan Stedman's Moto Mouse

From the LOWBROW website > "The Moto Mouse art was done by our friend Alan Stedman. You may recognize his work from the paper biker dolls in DiCE Magazine and from the cover of DiCE magazine #36. He did up this illustration for this shirt to help out with the Room to Read charity we support. The profit from every Moto Mouse shirt sold will be donated to Room To Read. Our goal is to raise $12,000 by the end of June 2011...."

Stedmans a great artist and always comes through! (He doctored up my Lady Hump header and was instrumental in getting last years Wuss Ride blog and map together. Thanks Alan!)

Centaurs v. Leprechauns

 The Centaur from Greek Mythology has a origin explanation that's too boring to get into, let's just say it from early Attic and Boeotian vase painting (I know, "what" right?) and then skip ahead to ... Centaurs are still found at most hippie and/or Renaissance fair type events. Swords and Hash Pipes people, Swords and Hash Pipes.
 Seriously though, how could a human nose and mouth inhale enough oxygen (let alone anything else) to sustain itself with that massive horses ass attached or how could they possible eat enough to sustain that same mass? There's not enough "munchies" in the world to fuel that baby back. Funny you never see an obese Centaur either. Centaurs however are said to be very skilled at Archery, Healing, and (Oh Lordy, say it ain't so) Astrology. Centaurs are a proud, elitist group of beings that consider themselves superior to all other creatures, and I guess I can believe that seeing as we've elected Obama as our President.
 Centaurs obviously would kick some naked Galdiator (and some teeth!) in any Man v. Centaur fight club... 
"Short people got, no reason to live."
 But this "Versus" battle isn't Man v. Centaur, it's Centaur v. Leprechaun. Leprechauns are a crafty sort from Irish folklore. Mostly old men, but in American mostly Smokin' Hot Babes! They spend all their time making shoes and hiding their gold at the end of the Rainbow.
I seem to recall a Leprechaun at the last Slab City riot, either that, or a little old man who stole a pot of gold. And when I say man, I mean wrinkly old woman.
 If ever you met a Cannibal they would tell you that Leprechaun meat is Salty! Surely a Leprechaun could outwit a halfman-halfhorse creature who can't catch his breath or digest a caloric intake enough to chase ye' little wee sprite. Leprechauns are masters of high octane hydration.
 If ever captured by a human, the Leprechaun has the magical ability to grant you three wishes in exchange for their release. Including the very often chosen, "Happy Ending" wish. Go figure, they're often times found in bars and back alleys.
 Degenerate Fairies is what they truly are. Nothing more than three feet high practical jokers who take just as much pleasure giving you a heat rash as they do a ball punch. Pimps.
 So in a fight between the two, who would win? The Sexy alcoholic green pantied dirty-girl fairy or the Centaur who can't even give himself a reach? The answer is clear my dear readers... The winner would be the one and only CENTAUR T.
Cause ain't no way no little Wee Troll gonna jibber jabber the most Dope Centaur T.!
(Isn't it great what you can accomplish with 5 minutes on photoshop?)

Brought to you from the Most Excellent Lady Hump Educational Resource Center for Higher Learning and Comprehension. 

Lady Hump is going to be in green at the Gasser Lounge on March 17th. Be there!
 Maybe we'll catch us some Leprechauns!

Friday, February 25, 2011

Happy Birthday Cash

From the Gasser email: "Bring your ride down for the biggest cruise-in we've had in a long timethe folks from Los Angeles Harley Davidson will be here showing off some of their latest steel AND raffling off some bitchin' HD gear.  you don't have to have a bike to get a ticket, but if you don't and you end up winning something, you're pretty much obligated to go buy a harley from them.  that's how it works.
bike night also means $2 bitchin' brew, $3 bud light, $4 sailor jerry, and $5 jagermeister. come on down and get lit for cheap!  you've got no excuse to stay home now!!"

I'll be there rain or shine... hope my bike doesn't get raped by a HD Stocker?!?!

Wednesday, February 23, 2011


Submissions from kick ass Finland. Thanks Tero!
Got some shots you want to submit? Send them here.

Sat. Gasser Lounge. Redondo Beach.

"Oh I'm sorry", is your girlfriend still using the computer to faceboink old friends from high school and you never got the new Gasser Lounge Bike Night dates???
Break free of your monogamy and come smear some tacos across your face at this months bike night for crying out loud you cry baby! I'll bring my Man~Wand and smack you over the head with it freeing you from the tyranny that keeps you up at night listening to cats in heat scratch at your windows.

Monday, February 21, 2011


 "What's Up? Yeah, I Ride Rainbows. I ride the shit out of them!"

Some new shirts in the store. Limited run cause I make them my own damn self just to have fun with. If you want to get cho hands on one, make it a quick trip to the Lady Hump store before they're like the baby the Dingo stole! You'll laugh at the front but you'll wear the shirt for the screen on the back.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Last Street Chopper Party...

... I took a bunch of photos and sometime after that my computer took the big leap off the toilet seat into the bowl. I still don't have one and this blog is running on auto-pilot (and doing quite well, I might add for a out of control school bus. Over 10,000 visits in the last month might not seem like a lot to some blogs, but for this one, that's Cat Nip.) Here's a few shots of an Ironhead with a pretty cool background story. Problem is, I can't tell you the story cause I don't have all the info. Yet. If this is YOU in the photos, tell your Pops you've made it onto the world famous Sportster website known as the "Lady Hump."

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Ironhead Project

 I know these two dudes who are brothers and working on an Ironhead project. Can't wait to see what they make out of this...
 I think Spears did the wiring on this bike... ? My suggestion, just rip it all out and start over.
 But when all is said and done, I expect it to look something like this (see below)...

Thursday Bordello

 Thursday Night Recommendation from Lucifer.

Cretins Club House

Totally missed the band...

Hit the (continuing) party at the Cretins MC Club House, very cool place I'd never been to before on a roof top off downtown L.A., after the Douche Larouche event. Most of the Douche crowd made there way there also... Going to have to add these events to the Bean Pot.

Got a So Cal event? Let me know.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Larouchentines 2 people, where's the bacon wrapped dogs?

 "Whadda ya mean we cant eat at cho bar?"
No seriously, the folks at Spikes let us spread it out.
 Lucifer. Back on two feet and on his way to two wheels.
No No No. Crashing Bad...