Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Halloween Props are Essential Biker Enhancers ~and~ I apologize to the HDMC ( Wha? No Way? Way. )

 One thing that is a constant at this show is the sheer number of props that are brought into the fold. Halloween themed props are the #1 Biker Choice for Accessorizing the showroom floor surrounding your bike. Whether it's Skulls, Demons, Rats, Bones, Spiders, or (this years up and coming favorite, thanks in no small part to Sons of Anarchy) The Grim Reaper! Second Banana props include the following themes; Cowboys, Surf, Drag Boats and Race Cars, Mexi Blankets, Boobs, Beer, and Marijuana smoking. You know what I'm talking about. Don't try and deny it you hypocrates. Yeah, whatever, you didn't inhale. Right.

 2012 Concept Bike from Palm Springs.
My heart missed a beat when I saw the power plant in this AVP themed bike.
If there is a Hell. And, for some unimaginable reason, I find myself there. This is bike that I'll be forced to polish every day, without end. 
My God. I have seen the Horror. I'll be good from now on. I promise mommy.

Now, I'm not picking on any single bike in particular. So relax the panty pulling for a minute. In general, reference to all the bikes at this show that are "new" builds; So it begs the question. Who, exactly, rides these bikes? (no one) Where do they ride them? (no where) Why do they ride them? (to be the center of attention) Musicians are ego fueled true. But, bike builders? What do they gain? (I'm sure there's an element that will take their business to their shops. But how large of an element? To sell them what? Catalog accessories because no one is buying these bikes in mass) How do you look at something, and decide, I'll take this so far even the likes of Lady Hump will short curcuit from looking at it? Do they dream of electric sheep in a perverse way? When they're done, do they stand back and slap each other on the back (side, below the belt) and crack open a Coors, go home, kick the wife and sleep with the Dog?
Let me go spend $40K customizing a bike and park it in a shop with a "Do Not Touch" sign... isn't what it's all about no matter what.

Something seriously just grounds me in the minimalist build. Take a stock bike. Make removal a larger percentage of work done on the bike than modification. Add to the bike as little as possible unless absolutely necessary for speed or performance. Ride the bike as much as possible for the joy of every day you wake. Which, forces me to acknowledge, "Live to Ride. Ride to Live" ain't such a bad thing when compared to this "The Circus is in Town!" attraction. I apologize to the Harley Davidson Motor Company for all the fun I've made of you in the past (but retain the right to make additional fun of you in the future so suck it).

Let's also be fair, this isn't anything new people are doing. Here's something from a "magazine" that's from "back in the day" (cool factor = Sportster!)

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