Thursday, January 26, 2012

Sucka Lead Free Unicorn Candy

It finally came today. The Mexican Mini-Unicorn Pops I ordered from .... Mexico. Not really, I live in Los Angeles (for some, Mexico's largest city) and picked these little gems up at the local mercado. They're so "unknown" that the Cashier tried to scan them and they didn't have a price on file. He asked me what they cost. "Free." He declined. $1.00. Okay.
And, what a waste of a (US) dollar. Apparently they're made from Unicorn Seimen and NOT unicorn horns as they were all "melted" inside their little baggies and the sugar (?) had all drained to the bottom of the bags creating a little sticky liquid pool of spooge and leaving a hard plastic(y) shaft along the stick.
 Doesn't mean the partys over! Just cause one small bag of candy disappointed you. Bring out the Hipster dancing girls who re-enact Son's of Anarchy episodes through interpritive dance with swords...

 When we decide, "you know what? Let's get drunk tonight" eventually, along the trail of the Wizrd Staff King, we pause to remember one of Lady Hump's biggest celebrity fans. RIP Miss "Death by Misadventure" who blew a .416 from the grave.
From now on, the only Unicorn Candy I wanna eat, comes straight from the source.

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