Saturday, March 3, 2012

Cheers ~ A Lady Hump Television Pitch

Cheers is a biker/strip bar in Boston owned by Sam Malone,  a former Boston M/C President, whose drinking problem ended his career. Helping Sam in the bar is Ernie "Panhead" Pantusso, whom he refers to as "Old Fart" and Carla, a tough waitress who spits like a sailor (ask me what she spits? go ahead, ask?). Among the regulars are Norm, an well hung accountant who spends most of his time at Cheers to avoid his wife, Vera, and Cliff, a mailman, whose conceitedness, annoys everyone (but he hands out welfare checks like candy, so we let him stay). Sam is also a womanizer, who thinks that there isn't a woman he can't have. Sam has a shag room under the stairs of the bar that's always got "rattling pipes" or a "rat problem." Diane Chambers, a horney grad student, who was going away with her boyfriends, stops by the bar but they dump her confessing their homosexuality. Diane with nowhere else to go, gets a job at the bar as a Stripper. Sam is attracted to her and makes his move but Diane is turned off by his smug attitude. Eventually they get together but break up and Diane gets a new boyfriend, DEA Agent, Fraiser Crane. They were about to get married when Diane leaves him tied up nude at a local "bath house" for charging Sam's old club with Rico. The actor who played"Old Fart" died, so a new character, Woody "Pot Head" Boyd was added. Sam and Diane would get engaged and were about to get married when Sam urged her to fulfill her dream to be a professional Madam. Sam would sell the bar to a competing M/C. When Sam needed a job, he tried to get a job from the new manager, Jemma " R'becca" Teller, whom Sam tried to make a move on but didn't have enough flour, till he went to the store and bought some. Sam would eventually buy back the bar and make Rebecca his overweight Exotic Dungeon Misstress.

"How's it Hanging Mr. Peterson?"
"DAMN!!! It just got slammed in the door closing behind me again!!!"

You know Woody rides a Sportster. No Doubt. 

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