Saturday, June 30, 2012

You can always rent BORN FREE or maybe try Netflix ...

 BORN FREE (1966) Joy Adamson and her husband, Kenya game warden George Adamson, raise Elsa, a lion cub. When Elsa approaches maturity, Joy determines she must re-educate Elsa to living in the wild so that the lioness can return to a free life. Filmed during a time when it was okay to teach kids to play with wild animals, as long as they were still young, what this movie doesn't show, and the sequel that will never be seen, is that as Joy tried to train Elsa. Elsa ate Joy. It didn't take much to piss Elsa off, Joy rubbed some Zebra blood on her back in an attempt to "teach" Elsa the taste of the kill... and one thing led to another. George, now distraught, never returned to civilized life. Instead, he remained with his new Tigress lovers on his private African Endangered Species Reserve, eating Zebra and mating... his "distraughtness" left behind him.

Live from BORN FREE 4 (and) there's NO Ewoks allowed at Slab City ...



 "What? You smell barbecue? ... Well, I might have had an Ewok or two for breakfast?"
Or three or four

I guess Slab City just isn't as eco-friendly to Ewoks as some people had hoped. "The last Ewok I saw jumped into the mud pit behind me and as much as I tried, he just slipped under and disappeared. I don't  know what happened to him... It was horrible. I'll never relocate another Ewok in this desolate place as long as I live..."

I like things most Star Wars ...

 I like things most Star Wars. I dig the leather Stormtrooper face mask above. I think it would be even radder if it was attached to a 3/4 face helmet at the snaps! I like the bubble windo sidecar below, kinda spacy, kinda R2D2 domish'.

Hipsters don't impress me that much. Especially when they're wearing a mainstream swimsuit and using prop glasses to (try to) appear "hipster'ish." 
Scooters impress me even less...

... but when I see that this Lady had made her very own R2D2 helmet, taped it and rattle canned it, all the while drinking a beer! (albeit a "light" beer) I gotta give some RESPECT up.

I'm not at Born Free because I had to work ...

You can always find another job. It might not be the same kinda job you're doing now, something so important that you had to miss Born Free 4. Something like being a Navy Seal, a Spinal Surgeon, a Bacon Griller or maybe a Radio Talk Show Host, where lives are depending on you... If only there was some way to be in two places at once? Splitting yourself in two, just ain't so easy... 

Don't you think you've taken this little "Biker" obsession, a little "too" far?

I don't care how "safe" you think it might be? It's not doing yourself any justice in the respect department. 

 I'd say this just looks wrong. But, do I really need to...?

 I'm still thinking about not posting this just beause it's so humiliating and degrading to molded sex dolls.
I've never watched snuff films or anything, but I imagine this is how it starts, all innocent and funny...

"Oh my God. You killed her!"

A public service message from,
Unicorns Against Doll Abuse

Unicorn Candypop

The Doo Rag keeps the hair outta your face. The Fingerless Gloves keep a firm, yet protective, grip on your Unicorn Candypop.

Unless that's not candy? I'm not exactly sure. Except, this blog is PG-13 most often and the rest of the pictures where, not.

So You Missed BORN FREE 4, don't sweat it, the Lady Hump has YOU covered

"Hello. I am C3po and this is my counterpart, Big Bird."
"Beep Beep Bop Beep!"
"Yes R2. This annoying little droid R2-D2 wants me to tell you, that you're about to enjoy a day full of substitute posts."
"Beep Bop Bop a'Lu Lu."
"He also says this giant yellow bird is looking at my crotch? Wait, R2, what metal worm...?"

All day long. Stupid posts to help you forget you missed one of the Best Shows of the Year.

Friday, June 29, 2012

Group riding to Born Free 4 from Tri-Co.

Last minute notice; Lucifer tells me there's a group riding to born free from Tri Co. at 10 AM Saturday morning. Be there before 10 am if you wanna join up. Lucifer will probably be shooting a lot of video along the way, so don't panic if you see him chasing you down!

Tubby and friends (actually more Hell on Wheels pictures)

 Life's hard when you gotta just sit there and drink it all in.
 Big Thanks to the SPOKESMEN and Terry BEER BOOTERS who we're cooking it up and serving it cold! All for a good cause; the Lima Family Recovery Fund.

 Sportay' (once again, the most previlant and predominant bike at the show... of course).

More Hell on Wheels coverage by Lucifer, taken way way back (just under two weeks ago) on June 9th, 2012.

BARTIPS Episode 1, Gasser Lounge

Check it out...
"Stabby Stabby!"

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Print Is Dead ... and we're raising the Dead to a whole New Level! LADY HUMP PRESS, Issue #1

 You've seen the Lady Hump Blog (Duh, you're here now), you've visited the Store, and I hope you've watched the FILMS (on Vimeo). Well, I'd like to introduce you to our latest little venture into the mix. Lady Hump's UNRELEASED 2010, 166 pages of full color gloss photography, ad free (that's right, NO ADS!) magazine annual. The first issue covers Southern California events in 2010 from January through December (think Street Chopper Release Parties, Born Free 2, The Biltwell 500, rides, parties, rallys, etc. etc.). And suffice to say, if we're releasing 2010 now, then you already know that 2011 is standing behind you ready to strike, and 2012 is mere months away! Worst case scenario? You don't like the picture I took of you and now it's in full color print for the world to see! 
This Issue will be available at BORN FREE 4 in limited supply, so if you want to get one, that is your window of opportunity. Look for us in the Lady Hump / Wuss Ride / Gasser Lounge booth. If there's any left I promise, I'll throw them up in our store sometime after BF4, but I can't guarentee anything tonight. (I haven't figured out shipping options or shipping rates yet, and I'm not even going to try and think about it till after the show and Pool Party at the Gasser Lounge on Sunday.)

Do you want to follow Lucifer?

Are you disallusioned with following your current cult leader? Maybe he hasn't passed out the new Nike's and purple Kool Aid yet? Well we'd rather you follow Lucifer on 
Instagram as -LoneWolfBastard-

Ride Safe, Surf Safe.

Loser Machine Co., Summer Sample Sale

June 15th, 2012
Loser Machine Co. Summer Sample Sale and Born Free 4 Ticket Sales
pics by Lucifer

The "legitimate" offspring of Walt Disney and SAMCRO

 Training Wheels in black
Cause you're gonna
regret it the day that you dissed us 
You'll wish you never met us
you remind me of a real short story one hit record and you
star to bore me get ready cause this is it your crew is
through and we too legit to quit...sang!...
"What Happened?!?!?"
"I fell off my Chopper!"
 Training Wheels in Pink

 "Hi Mom! I'm playing Biker! ... or at least a high priced hooker on the back of one."
My people we don't know defeat we crush the strong and
percolate the weak daily (everyday) we make our moves to
improve our groove because we love to rule where we
lay yo!..
Next chance to see SOA? July 15th at the San Diego Comic-Con (and if it wasn't about comic books, I'd say they nailed the show a "comedy" and a "con.")

hey...hey...hey...hey... too legit to quit.. too legit to quit..
we're rolling on...we're rolling on...we're rolling on...we're rolling on...
he's on top...he's on top...he's on top...he's on top...
goin to burn it up...goin to burn it up...goin to burn it up...
goin to burn it up...
too legit to quit...too legit to quit
we're rollin on..hey..hey..hey...too legit.

"Hey Mr. Miyagi, What's it going to take to get me on that show?"

Pegless Sportster

Pictures from the LBCS June 24th 2012.
Ironhead Sportster, ridden without any pegs. Not even sure how the dude changes gears? Tear it up!