Saturday, November 24, 2012

How Stupid (read: Gullible) Are You ??? ... Hooligan Stupid

You ever notice the way (and there must be some kind of marketing arrangement here) that when you read any websites or magazine article covering the Top 10 Bikes of (any particular year) that, in that list of ten bikes, more often than not, each major motorcycle company has at least one token bike included in the list?

The Popular Mechanics list of the 10 Best Buys in 2012 Motorcycles include; The Ducati Monster 696 "... occupy(ing) the lowest rung on the (Ducati) Monster ladder (there's a plus), the Aprilia Shiver 750 (for some unknown reason they include the 2011 version?), the Harley-Davidson Iron 883 (here it comes...) "Try the Iron 883. It's got all the hooligan style of its bigger brothers, the 1200cc Nightster and Forty-Eight, but packs the standard Sportster's less potent 883cc V-twin (read: limp dick? That's there words not mine... excpet I said the "limp dick" part on behalf of their "less potent" definition). There's still enough power to have fun; there's just a little less punch off the line. After some time in the saddle, the old-school simplicity (what old school? Harley go home, you are drunk) of this bike makes you feel tough riding it and forget about the smaller motor.

"Do you feel tough yet punk? Well, do yah?"

"Trust me, you won't forget about the smaller motor. When a girl tells you size doesn't matter, she just lied. You're about to be dumped... hard and fast (unlike your motorcycle). She's about to be on the market again looking, not for Mr. Right. Oh no... She's looking for Mr. Large." 

"Is that a Sportster?"
"What? No. It's my new Fourty Eight and a half... come on... don't laugh... ok, you can stop laughing now. Wait... where are you going?... come back... please!"

 ... continuing on; the Honda Shadow RS, Triumph Bonneivelle, the "Star Stryker" (I didn't know that George Lucas Star Wars francise had it's own Christian Rock Motorcycle on the market? Duh is me, Duh is me...), Suzuki V-Storm 650 (aka the "Sandy"), the Kawasaki Ninja 250, the Yamaha FZ8, and the Zero XU... come on really. Why didn't you just name the article; the lowest priced bikes without training wheels on the market this year? You don't have to church it up by calling it the 10 Best Buy's, because, guess what? They ARE NOT THE BEST BUYS. They're the Cheapest Buys... maybe. But in no way whatsoever, the "Best."

It doesn't matter what the Top Ten list is centered on, quality, price, features, gas mileage, horsepower, etc. etc., you'll discover that they're nothing but advertisements for and from the motorcycle companies who (usually) place ads in those same magazines. When you read something that includes a little bit of everything, that information is WORTHLESS. People get paid to marginalize and generalize to the point of satisfying everyone with a little something something. And to include the Zero XU, ... horse shit. Who in the hell let Al Gore contribute to this list?

And not to continue ripping Popular Mechanics a new hole; but the proof is in the pudding. Here's there list of 2013's Top Ten Best Buys, can you see the pattern? This year the only difference is really instead of the cheapest bikes in the line up, they went with the medium priced bikes in the line up across the board. Hu? Kawasaki Ninja 300, BMW S1000RR 4HP, the 2013 Victory Judge, The Harley-Davidson Seventy-Two, Honda NC700X, Ducati Monster 696 Anniversary, Yamaha Super Tenere, Moto Guzzi V7 Racer, Suzuki SFV 650, and (remember this is the 2013 Top Ten list...) the Zero S (Craaaaapppp!!!!!). So in a year, the models change that dramatically as one Sportster would replace another? Figure it out people ... it's stupid for the sake of stupid.

Want to see the 2014 line up? Sure, why not. It's the Honda, Suzuki, Ducati, BMW, Harley-Davidson, Kawasaki, Triumph, Vicotry, Moto Guzzi, and Zero! (what a joke...)

Want to see the 2015 line up? It's near identical to the year before, and so on, and so on, and so on, and you've obtained no new information.

$$$ BUY USED $$$



WhitelinePsycho said...

Your dedication to your cause celebre is admirable Al . . . would you like to buy a used 2010 Forty Eight? Only 43,000 klms on the clock, one totally uncaring owner, appropriate levels of patina, [read, rust, corrosion, barnacles, scrapes and dings], no factory add ons and used to carting a fat basterd all over the countryside. Owner wishes to buy the 2017 model to update and remain the coolest man in town . . . let me know, te he he !!!! XXX

Anonymous said...

Ya dont know what you're talking about, ....I've been riding for 35 years, have had them all,...I now ride a Hinckley Bonneville and really love it. The bike is bullet proof and enough power from it's flat torque curve to satisfy.
By the way, when you learn to spell words correctly you will be more convincing. LOL.