Sunday, December 16, 2012

#5 BEST of 2012, Top Ten Vehicles for the End of the World

The End of the World is near....

December 21st, 2012. This blog will go Dark.
Los Angeles will go Dark.
California will go Dark. North America, Central America, South America, Antarctica, up the Horn of District 9, all the way through Gaddafi's punctured ass, through to Greece, across Europe, covering the entire Earth. It ends ... with a fart and a fizzle.

But why wait? Come and end it all with us at the END OF THE WORLD PARTY with a SMASH!!! this Friday, December 21st at 6:00 PM we go on a evening cruise through the pot holes of Los Angeles to return to the Gasser Lounge in time for the actual destruction of the Earth.

So what are you gonna role during the End of the World? Here's a list of the TOP TEN VEHICLES you might choose from ... select wisely.

10.) Greyhound Bus
On first thought, yeah, it might be cool. It's big and can pretty much barrel it's way through any obstacle, zombie or otherwise, and you can fit a bunch of your friends inside. But no, surprisingly, they're not so tough "Doing the Dog" at the End of the World might be like get it doggy style ... with a pinch and a barb. Also, kinda looks like some chopper did a burn out on the top of this one hu? Crazy bikers....
9.) The Cruising' Beer Cooler
Now that's a possibility, but they're simply not fast enough to escape the coming Doom Horizon.
8.) Batmobile (Bat Missle)
This little baby can split lanes like no ones business. But you're NOT Batman, and he's not sharing.
7.) Police Cruiser (Crown Victoria)
Time to play some Grand Theft Auto up in here, but at the End of the World do you really wanna be cruising around in a Cop Car? That might make you more of tarrget than an escapee'
6.) Moller Skycar
There's some concept vehicles, and you've all seen Balde Runner, but the mere fact they exist doesn't make them viable options. Porn Stars pretty much do everything you've ever dreamed of, but that's short lived. The fuel economy of the Skycar might be something akin to the length of your mating ritual... and a minute in the air ain't my idea of how I wanton' End the World?

5.) Mutant Vehicles
Hippies and Hipsters have their own ideas of what's cool and they even rip off Star Wars.
If you wanna see some End of the World sheik... Burning Man is right up your alley. Me, I'll still try for something a little less trendy and a little more "motor flunkin!"

4.) DeLorean
You can NEVER go wrong in a Delorean. No matter what, you'll go out in style...
(and little known secret, I hear they travel through time too?)
3.) General Lee
If you go out in a General Lee, you're guarenteed to have a Little Hottie by your side, and that's a plus.
2.) Shag Van
 But maybe one little Hottie next to you isn't enough?
What is your libido on steroids?
Go large and rock the Shag Van, that way you'll fit a harem of Hotties inside your 4 mobile walls. The Japanese however are WAY ahead of you, so expect there to be some Mad Max action on the road as they try to Samurai your 70's Don't Come a' Knocking Van with their Might Morphin' Mega Force Gundam Machinery!

1.) Moto's and Choppers!
 The correct (and really only) answer is motorcycles.

We're riding motorcycle at the End of the World... you haven't got the time left to obtain any of the really cool listed vehicles above if you're just now starting to get your act together, so open the garage door and gas up the two wheely scoot for the last ride of your life... the last ride, in fact, of everyones life if this really truly is the End of the World. And I think it is, when was the last time a Mayan has ever lied to YOU? Never. So why would they start lying now? That, doesn't make any sense.

See you Friday!

We Destroy the World at MIDNIGHT!!!

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