Sunday, December 23, 2012

The conspiracy of a local Doomsday Cult ...???

 Some of you might have read this intriguing article in today's headlines...?


Anna Coxs. 12/23/12 4:15 pm. Today's Headlines. Dec. 21, 2012, is over and if you’re reading this, you already are aware the world has not yet ended... I know, what a bummer. Certainly it’s chilly outside, but we survived (or did we?), there’s still Christmas shopping and wrapping to be done. If this were a movie, we could call it "Mayans; Not the experts we thought they were at Math"

In short, it was the worst Armageddon, ever — well, except when the real one comes. That will probably would be worse. With or without "Taco Tuesdays."

But (alas) there were no hostile alien attacks, nor was there a sudden sudden spike in UFO sightings or people running naked through the streets. There were no new wars or rumors of war, no Earthquakes, no Avalanches, no Tsunamis, no Four Horsemen of the apocalyptic sort (not even One Horseman showed) as some biblical eschatologists or those even the stark raving mad homeless might predict. Also missing: Giant Asteroids, Ninja Turtle attacks, or planets on an interstellar collision course with Earth.

In fact, the most imminent threats we face today appear to be the regularity of impending snarl of snail traffic on the 405 and low surf at our beaches. The agony of low swells for the local surf community is more than most are able to handle.

Yes, as a Doomsday, Friday was an apocalyptic fail, as it were, particularly for those who believed the predictions that the day’s date, which marks the end of Baktun, a 5,125-day cycle on the Mayan calendar, also signaled the end of the world. The idea seemed to entrench itself in areas scattered around the world.

One such local area; The Gasser Lounge in Redondo Beach, most famous for it's $2 Tuesdays, mixed drinks and their reputation as the "Only True Rock n' Roll Bar" in the South Bay, promoted an End of the World party on Friday 12/21/12 with the concerning theme of a Madam "Lady Hump" Destroyer (if my translations of their cryptic advertisements are correct?) The creators and hosts of this party are now seemingly nowhere to be found. Repeated phone calls and emails went unanswered. Several calls to the local authorities on Friday night were reported. At least one missing persons report has since been filed. It's as if they've vanished from the face of the earth, or at least this interviewers attempt at obtaining a statement concerning the failure of any Doomsday to actually transpire... the proof of a local underground Doomsday Cult connection; a deflated and smashed pinata found in the trash outside the bar painted like the Earth. Was this Planetary Voodoo Doll used in a vain attempt to initiate some mythological planetary destruction? One can only wonder what the true intentions of this local cult in our own backyard may be?

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1 comment:

WhitelinePsycho said...

And not a mention of used skirtsters in sight . . . Happy Festivus sexy man/woman/unicorn creature.