Friday, June 14, 2013

Let's watch a Gorilla Shit a Watermelon ...

 I got this email:

Hello! My name is (removed) and I'm casting the new season of Spike TV's #1 show "Bar Rescue." We are casting a few episodes in LA, so we're looking for bars that are under-performing or that might be having some trouble behind the scenes that is holding them back from becoming profitable.

If that sounds like the Gasser Lounge, I'd love to talk to you!

Please call me at (number removed) if interested.

Thanks so much!

...and this was my reply:

Wow. You really must have done absolutely ZERO research before contacting me. Not only do I own and operate one of the CLEANEST and BEST run bars in the South Bay, but I have even consulted for some of your "experts" during a "rescue" which resulted in the bar's closing within months of shooting the episode. Nice work, guys.

Your host Jon Taffer's voice and facial expressions are as deeply offensive as his incredibly delusional sense of style and function. Watching him explain the invented rationale of his designs is like watching a gorilla shit a watermelon while attempting to return a used pair of underwear without a receipt. His unfounded sense of entitlement is as baffling as his wardrobe.

You guys should do an episode about how great his Bar and Nightclub Convention is doing... because we all know how easy it is for him to spew endless amounts of BULLSHIT in the direction of anyone who will give him an audience.

Very simply, your show is horribly unwatchable, and I wouldn't let your staff of hacks in my bar if it were on fire and they were carrying hoses. Fuck you, fuck your show, and fuck Jon Taffer.

-Mike B.
Gasser Lounge

Thought you guys might enjoy that. I didn't.

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