Tuesday, January 28, 2014

"I don't care about your damn yellow buzzards."

SUE BOY RIDE Feb 22nd 2014 at 3pm

aka things you probably didn't know about Johnny Cash

In June 1965, while high as a kite on a meth binge, parked deep in the forest due to paranoia, his truck caught fire due to an overheated wheel bearing, triggering (said) forest fire that burnt several hundred acres in Los Padres National Forest in California.

When the judge asked Cash why he did it (because obviously, when you're super high on meth, you remember every detail of every action no matter how focused you are on checking the windows to see if the cops are outside your camper and taking apart that transistor radio that's transmitting location signals to the Feds... yep.), Cash said, "I didn't do it, my truck did (because like Pixar has proven, Cars are sentient beings capable of both criminal actions and conscientious decision making), and it's dead, so you can't question it." 

The fire destroyed 508 acres, burning the foliage off three mountains and driving off 49 of the refuge's 53 endangered condors Cash was unrepentant and claimed, "I don't care about your damn yellow buzzards." 

The federal government sued him and was awarded $125,172 ($927224 in 2014 dollars). Cash eventually settled the case and paid $82,001. He said he was the only person ever sued by the government for starting a forest fire.

The missing Buzzards were never seen again... but we have a pretty good idea where they went.

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